I’ve found that when I don’t plan, life happens to me. I might get lucky for a while, but sooner or later, things begin to feel off and disconnected. If I put it off too long, it sometimes even culminates into an existential crisis.

But how can you plan in a way that feels good? So often it’s tied to the hustle, super-productivity, and trying to fit MORE stuff into every second. 

Fixation on creating control in my schedule can take a turn into future tripping. I want to pace my life for healing and organize my time in a balanced and nourishing way.

Benefits of planning

It can help to remember that there is a lot more to gain from planning than only productivity. There are many ways it can deepen our path and help us steep in the magic of living. 

Benefits include:

• Increased creativity

• Decreased cognitive load 

• Narrows the gap between intention and action

• Increased chance that enjoyable and meaningful things will happen 

• It’s more potent than motivation alone 

• It helps you see the bigger picture

• Helps you manage stress and cope with the demands of daily life

• Provides a sense of direction

• Helps you achieve your goals

And it doesn’t have to be tedious, monotonous, or make you feel like you're failing at life.

I get excited when I reframe planning as a journey to help me discover what I love. It can be a way to craft my days to be more fulfilling. I can then use this plan to create moments of care for myself and others.

Making a plan that feels good

Over the years I’ve found some tips that actually work, and help me stay in the moment while organizing my future.

• Keep it simple. In the most stripped-down terms: you’re figuring out the when and how of your why.

• Write it down. There are many benefits to writing it by hand first. I find it prevents me from overworking because it slows me down. Plus, writing it down will reduce your chance of getting distracted by your device. Putting it on paper allows for the satisfaction of crossing it out once you’ve completed an action. I still use an online calendar to set up essential reminders, but not until I’ve handwritten it first. 

• Adjust as needed. Create a way to track your plan so you can see how it’s working for you: cross things out, tick a box, or fill in a bubble. Take time to sense how your body is responding to them. Don’t be afraid to change your plan to better align with you.

• Create rituals. Build small rituals into your schedule. This makes it easier for your body and spirit to join the intentions your mind creates. These small traditions build a path to meaning that lives outside the grind. 

• Embrace natural cues. Attaching a signal to a habit will improve implementation (i.e., when I wake up, I will think of one thing I’m grateful for). Resist the impulse to set a reminder on your phone as a cue. Instead, the natural signals of your day (or zeitgebers) are a gentler way to introduce new habits to your schedule. The benefit of this type of cue is that it’s already worked into your body’s circadian rhythm.
  
  Rely on your cues that your body already knows instead of blasting alarms to remind you of routine tasks. Save the alerts for when you need them.

• Focus on finding your rhythm instead of scheduling each minute. It’s a simple perspective that creates more space around each activity.
  

• Keep it values-driven. Focus less on achievement and more on purpose.
  

• Be gentle. Cultivate a curious instead of forceful mindset.  If at the end of the week you’ve only gotten to half of your plan, you haven’t failed. Use the information you’ve gathered to understand your ideal tempo. Permit yourself to do less.
  

• Remain present. Presence and planning for the future may feel like opposites, but they’re actually a great team. When you think of it, making a schedule is designing a framework for mindful moments. Use them together to have a more significant positive impact and improve your desired outcomes.

Live more intentionally with the Self-care Planner

Lay a solid foundation

Before your first session:

• Get clear on what is most important to you. Remind yourself in each scheduling session by writing it at the top of your calendar. (If you aren’t clear on your values, find them out in less than 15 minutes with my “Values” worksheet in my password-protected resource library. Subscribe for the password ).

• Make it special. Anything can transform into a weekly ritual if you do it every Sunday after lunch over a cup of tea and a cozy chair. (Candles, a closed door, and relaxing music don’t hurt either). Set aside about half an hour. You may not need the full time, but it’s a good starting point.

• Decide the chunk of time you’ll be addressing. For me, I like to plan for the week with a loose outlook of a month. It’s individual. Choose what feels best right now.

Your scheduling ritual

Here’s a step-by-step outline that you can apply to your next calendaring time:

1. Light a candle, grab your favorite planner, and get cozy in a chair with your favorite blanket.

2. Write down your core values at the top of the page.

3. Choose one action you can take to express your values this week.

4. Set up self-care rituals before any other events.

5. Add rituals to your calendar or a habit tracker.

6. Check-in. From time to time take a moment to see how this plan feels to you. 

7. Review. Once you’ve finished, look it over again. Does your plan align with your values? Adjust it so it does. 

8. Close the ritual. Blow out a candle, give yourself a pat on the back, or clear off your desk. Do something to show your body that you’ve finished planning for today.

Don’t obsess or try to make things perfect. Just do your best in this time you’ve given yourself. It’s inevitable that your plans will change. But now you have a compass. You’ve taken the time to dream and inject this dream into real life. You’ve given your soul a door to walk through, to enter the dimension of time.

You are the one designing this system. Treat it as a creative project, with curiosity and a willingness to break the rules (especially your own).

If you would like more guidance on creating a value-based plan you can purchase my self-care planner and get started today.

Remember: Planning is a kindness you’re doing for yourself to create a rich life filled with joy, meaning, and love. 💖

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I’ve found myself avoiding resolutions this new year. They feel so separate from the actualities of daily life and just plain not fun. Instead, I’m focusing on creating moments that are enjoyable to replicate. I’m intentionally inserting joy in the form of rituals.

The beauty of a ritual is that it’s positive, unlike resolutions that often involve planned deprivation.

Your resolution to ritual formula

It’s easy to build rituals from your well-intentioned resolutions. It involves reframing and a little magic from creative thinking. Just follow the steps below:

1. Write down your resolution.

2. Write down one or two of your key positive motivations behind it.

3. Brainstorm a few activities linked to these core motivations that you would enjoy.  Add a dash of ambiance and intentionality while you’re at it. This package will form the foundation of your ritual.

4. Link the ritual’s occurrence to something you already do regularly, like getting off work or walking your dog.

5. Now you’re ready to drop the resolution and replace it with your ritual.
   
   

Recipes for rituals

Here are some examples of swaps for some of the most common New Year’s resolutions.

Resolution: “Lose weight”

Key motivation: Health + Mindful eating

Ritual: At dinnertime, light a candle. Serve healthy whole foods on your favorite plate with cloth napkins. Take a moment of appreciation for your food. Set a timer for 20 minutes and slowly enjoy your meal without rushing. Finish your ritual meal with your favorite tea.

Read next:

Mindfulness through your senses

Resolution: “Exercise more”

Key motivation: Ease with your body

Ritual: Every Friday after work, put on your most comfortable outdoor play clothes. Go to your most treasured hike or greenspace. Walk to a resting spot that you enjoy and sit there a moment, taking in all that nature has to offer. Take off your shoes and ground yourself. Write in a pocket-sized journal about what fills up your heart about this place. Do some easy, simple stretches that feel good and head back home.


Resolution: “Get organized”

Key motivation: Peace through order 

Ritual: Every Sunday morning after breakfast, take a photo of a small area that you would like to declutter. Using a basket made of a natural material, carefully remove each item that doesn’t belong there into the basket. Set a timer for 10-20 minutes. Gently put each thing away with care, and as you do so, feel gratitude for each hardworking item. Take your after photo and then grab a cup of your favorite warm drink and admire the freshly cleared space.

Include others

Resolution: “Reach out more to family and friends”

Key motivation: Love + Community 

Ritual: Every Thursday evening, after responding to your last work message, light a candle, grab a cup of your favorite tea, and head to your favorite cozy spot. Bring your hands to your heart for a minute as you think of a person you’d like to reach. Contact them in a way that brings you joy (call, create a postcard, or write a letter). Share one thing that you appreciate about them. In a beautiful small notebook, write the name of who you want to call next week. Blow out your candle as you silently say “Thank you” for having people you love in your life.

Resolution: “Go to bed early on Sunday”

Key motivation: Soothe Sunday scaries + Rest

Ritual: Pajama party time! Each Sunday before dinner, invite everyone in your house to get ready for bed dressed in their favorite pajamas. After dinner, relax in your living room by firelight, play a game, or do tarot. When anyone feels the slightest bit tired, head straight to bed.

(We’ve had success in our house with this last one). 

There is a sort of magic that rituals cast our state of mind. Join me in trying out new habits for a more joyful transformation.

Embrace the beauty of this new year 💖

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Light has almost invisible effects on your life. While you’ve likely grown up under the glow of artificial light, it hasn’t even been common in households for an entire century. Having light so cheaply available to us after dark is a newer phenomenon in human history.

Our anciently-developed bodies have not yet evolved to adapt to the circadian rhythm disruption brought on through electric lighting (documented through the dramatic adverse health effects of shift work). 

This has certainly been true for me. I’ve gone through periods where I’m susceptible to light sensitivity (mostly artificial light, which I have slowly readapted over the years but sometimes am rudely reminded).

In the past, I needed to live in an intentionally dark world (as much as I could) due to chronic health issues, and it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. It had profound effects. I lost friends over it (living without light is truly a radical choice that makes you less available) and adjusted my career path. I’ve experienced what a considerable disadvantage it is to live in a world built on artificial light when you can’t use it.

Nevertheless, as much as I’ve suffered ill effects of this artificial light dependency, I love technology and the other freedoms brought by it. In fact, I enjoy it so much that I find it almost impossible now to cut it out for an entire hour each day.

It feels unmanageable to live without artificial light and screens. Anyone who has experienced a prolonged blackout knows, it can feel like your entire life (and sanity) is dependent on it.

It feeds into the modern illusion that humans are made to live an electronically powered day. The luxury of cheap electric light is so easy to take for granted. You work in front of an artificially lit screen all day and watch a different flashing screen throughout the evening without even thinking about it as a choice. The modern technology age and entire economies are built on electric light. 

I have since learned that many of my peers experience symptoms from artificial light dependency. Vertigo, migraine, light-sensitivity, headaches, eye-fatigue, nausea, and sleep disorders are very common side-effects from spending over three hours locked to a screen. And to top it off, our screen use has only become more addictive over time, dramatically shifting our social and political structure.

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The best self-care routine for fall

Access to light can be used as a way to control the hours in your day. Daylight saving time was invented as a policy to control consumer use of readily available artificial light and reduce energy consumption. The (patriarchal) thinking was, people would use the extra hours of sunlight in the evening spring through summer for activities and spending. 

This bright idea has been dimmed through scientific research showing its negative effects on the human body. Stop playing games with our circadian rhythms!

The hypothesis that there would be hours in each day where artificial light use would be reduced has not proven to be true in the case of modern energy. Instead any energy savings tend to come from decreased appliance, heating or A/C use.

What you can do this daylight saving time

I used to look forward to having an extra hour of sleep each autumn, but last year I still felt groggy well into November and heard from some friends who were having trouble adjusting too. It turns out there are health implications for messing around with your circadian rhythms even when it seems to be in your favor. 

So this year, I’m trying something new. I’ve made a daylight-saving self-care calendar to assist with a gentle transition out of daylight-saving time (that really just shouldn’t exist).

I’d love for the circadian rhythm disruption of switching times to end forever, but in the meantime, this is the next best solution. Calendars can help you infiltrate your own screen time and get you into a healthier routine. Let’s use them to adapt to incremental changes.

Here’s how this calendar can help you:

1. Light therapy. Use your body’s natural sensitivity to the light to help you make time for more natural light and begin taking intentional breaks from artificial light.

2. Baby steps. Using small increments, you can adjust your sleep schedule to prevent that jet-lag feeling.

3. Establish a routine. Establish cues using self-care so your body can more easily understand transitions from rest to waking. Building your healthy routine involves: cleaning up your existing sleep hygiene, setting up a nighttime routine, and turning off screens 1 hour before bed.

4. Awareness. This time of change can bring underlying health issues to light. I’ve added a day to reflect on how your body feels throughout this time change.

(Share this post with a friend who could use some extra self-care but is too busy to take the time to make a calendar.)

While artificial light itself can cause circadian imbalance, daylight saving time has not decreased this effect -- instead, it has added to it. It’s a flawed patriarchal concept that treats our bodies as machines that can be calibrated to the desires of the dollar (historically retailers fought to keep it going to increase evening sales).

Barring a complete daylight saving time revolution, the best self-care we can do until it is overthrown is to use this time as a reminder that our bodies need natural light. Stay aware of its potential effects on our moods, bodies, and minds and help others adjust with you.

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“Wherever there are trees, we are healthier and happier” 
— Dr. Qing Li

It’s an odd feeling when we begin to miss something before it’s even gone.  That moment when you realize it won’t last forever, or much longer at all.

The fear begins to creep in, and you want to hold onto it. But then your grasping ruins the magic, so you then attempt to let go.

It’s reminiscent of the feelings of culture shock; once you realize you’re in it, the adventure starts right away, ready or not. Then your heart wraps around itself so many times that it becomes a ball in your chest and peeks out as a lump in your throat.

With the forest fires of the past few months in California and the West Coast, I’ve been feeling this sort of culture shock at home. I am trying to find my place in this changed and unfamiliar environment. I simultaneously realize that, like visiting Venice before it's underwater, now is the time to see all the natural sights I’ve taken for granted. The forests that I’ve grown up around may not be there tomorrow.

It makes me feel an urgency of appreciation. Like I need to get into the forest and memorize each path, see every landmark tree before it disappears.

I’m struggling to value the familiar without clinging to it.

“Leave your cup of coffee and your phone behind and just walk slowly. You don’t need to exercise, you just need to open your senses to nature. It will improve your mood, reduce tension and anxiety, and help you focus and concentrate for the rest of the day.”

— Dr. Qing Li

Forest bathing to the rescue

Forest bathing is an ideal way to slow down and savor the bounty that’s available to you in the present. For those of you not familiar, forest bathing (shinrin-yoku) is a Japanese practice of ecotherapy where you spend time soaking in the atmosphere of nature.

I learned about it a few years ago after reading “Forest Bathing: How Trees Can Help You Find Health And Happiness” by Dr. Qing Li. Full disclosure: I fell into it pretty hard, searching for Hinoki cypress and using ALL the essential oils from trees to get my ‘phytoncides’ dose (the immune-boosting chemicals produced by evergreens). 

But more than that, it changed how I approach nature. I’m not sure I would’ve even thought to change my pace if it wasn’t for the detailed explanation of why to do it, and for the research in this book shining a light on the subtle positive effects that nature has on our body.

Since then, my closeness to the trees in my life has deepened to a spiritual experience. I take breaks on weekend hikes to notice the trees and nature around me instead of just forging ahead to the finish line of a waterfall or view.  I’m listening to them now. I feel connected to their presence.

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The positive effects of being in nature and forest bathing

Even a single tree can change your state of mind. If a forest is not in your immediate area, think green (the color) and go for walks in parks, gardens, or adopt some house plants. Merely taking a nature break can have incredible effects on your well being. 

1. You’ll be happier! It improves mood and focus, and has been proven to help with depression.

2. Forest bathing increases your creativity.

3. It reduces stress, as seen in how it can cause “lower concentrations of cortisol, lower pulse rate, lower blood pressure, increase parasympathetic nerve activity, and lower sympathetic nerve activity compared with city settings.”

4. Improves length and quality of sleep.

5. Boosts your immunity.

How to practice forest bathing (shinrin-yoku)

This practice is dead simple, and you’ve likely already done it without realizing it.

• Find a couple spots (ideally with some evergreens) you can visit easily and frequently.

• Leave your devices at home. Enjoy the forest in silence.

• Slow down, and wander. Listen to where your body wants to go, and go there.

• Change your perspective: Zoom in. For example, at a small stream, watch the leaves floating on the water. Observe the details of the micro-ecosystem. Then zoom out and sense how you are part of the larger whole in the forest.

• Stop and rest. Use your five senses to engage with the space around you. Get comfortable and settle in. Hang out awhile. “Drink in the flavor of the forest” (Li).

• Think of this green space as your refuge and use the space for meditation, drinking tea, yoga, picnics, and your creative endeavors. Invite a friend or two to join you.
  

It’s not too late to begin

While forest bathing isn’t a cure for grasping, it can make your spirit feel lighter and your chest spring open with joy as you hang out with your tree friends. Like any friendship, you can’t know if it will last forever. But when you focus on being with them, you sink into the beauty of right now.

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Take a break to focus on yourself

The time always comes when we need to shake up our routine a bit. Maybe that means exploring close to home or a new adventure. If you’re unable to plan a trip, an at-home retreat can do wonders to soothe your soul and reinvigorate your creative practice. Plus it doesn’t require you to purchase anything; it only entails intentionally setting aside time for yourself.

The threat of burnout is real, and using the tool of a one-day retreat can help you manage your stress levels and notice if you’re experiencing any emotional exhaustion warning signs. 

In addition to being a time to reflect on how you’re feeling, it gives you a chance to dive into creative activities you’ve been yearning to do. I’ve always found creativity to be a safe container. It brings beauty to messiness and a sense of peace to the chaos.

Download the checklists for your one-day creative retreat.

One-day creative expression retreat itinerary

Setting up for success is vital to ensure follow-through on your retreat plans. It helps you minimize distractions as well as provide prompts for you to continue engaging with the process. You’re setting up a seamless experience. Your future self will thank you. (Don’t forget to download the “One-day creative retreat checklists” from the resource library).

The day before:

• Set up your space. A retreat day is a fresh start, so hide or cover up things that notoriously distract you.  Put your devices in a drawer so that you’re only using the ones you truly need for your creative process.
  
  Tidy up the night before, so you aren’t killing precious time tomorrow. Set the tone with a flower or some greenery from outside and a candle or two.
  
  Make the things that you want to do more accessible. Bring out your supplies for your project so you can just flow into action. Place a candle and matches next to your meditation spot for tomorrow.
  
  

• Prepare for the expected parts of your day. Make all your minor decisions before the retreat to reduce your decision fatigue and impart a sense of ease. Have healthy and simple meals ready to eat in your fridge (breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks). Put out your water glass and a mug with your herbal tea of choice. Choose your outfit for tomorrow (make it a comfy one!) so you can focus entirely on your creative expression.
  
  Pick a couple of guided meditations to listen to, as well as music and playlists to fuel your practice. Have your journal and a pen ready. Set up an inspiring book or two near your favorite chair. I find poetry especially inspiring to launch into a creative frame of mind.
  
  

• Unplug from your usual routine. Plan to be alone. Let people know you won’t be available. Set up an auto-reply if that will put your mind at ease. If television is part of your daily routine, unplug it after your last show tonight.
  
  If possible, download everything for tomorrow to your phone so that you can keep it in airplane mode for the duration of your retreat. Your retreat begins the moment you fall asleep tonight!

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37 tips to build your creative stamina

The day of your retreat:

• Guide your creative expression practice with the spirit of play and exploration.

• Take breaks as needed and be gentle with yourself.  Ask your body what it needs, and pay attention to its response.

• Take a nap. While you may find this day to be productive, that isn’t the point. The focus is on rest and restoring your creative spirit and energy.

• Don’t judge what you’re making today. Focus on the process, not the result.

• No need to be rigid with your schedule; if you’re in a creative flow that feels good, keep going!

• Try something new, whether it’s breathwork during meditation or a new color in your palette, a retreat is a great time to try it out.

• Get at least one walk in your schedule. A Stanford study shows that thinking while walking leads to more creative thinking.

• Disconnect: no social, no email, no television.

Sample Schedule:

Morning

8:30 Breakfast

9:00 Journal

9:30 Begin your creative practice for the day

11:00 Take a tea break: read, rest, stretch, daydream

11:30 Listen to a guided meditation

Afternoon

12:00 Lunch

1:00 Nap

2:00 Return to your creative project

3:30 Snack break: stretch, read, lay in the sun

4:00 Get some green time, take a walk in local nature or a park for inspiration

4:30 Creative time with 15-20 minutes of clean up at the end

Evening

6:00 Dinner and a short stroll

7:00 Listen to inspiring music

7:30 Stretch

8:00 Reflect on your creative process that day. Freewrite in your journal for 10-20 minutes.

8:45 Get ready for bed and read

Download your free one-day creative retreat checklist from the resource library.

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“People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth.

Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don't even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child—our own two eyes. All is a miracle.”

― Thich Nhat Hanh, The Miracle of Mindfulness: An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation

Staying in the present moment can be a challenge.

Your mind protests, because it’s impossible to measure a moment. There may be a longing to understand presence logically.

But your body wisdom knows and understands time in a way our mind can’t fully comprehend.

We’re culturally encouraged to sacrifice our depth of understanding for short-term productivity. We’re taught to model machine-like efficiency, to stuff down our feelings, and work hard.

But there’s a better way to coexist with time that works in harmony with our body.

Discovering an organic rhythm

Nature makes excellent company on the path of recalibrating your inner clock. Seasons remind you to slow down and tune in.

Deciduous trees slowly let go of their spring abundance in the fall so that each tree can save energy for the winter.  Speed would be problematic under these circumstances. If a tree lost all its leaves in a single day, it indicates an imbalance or health issue in the tree—no need to hurry it up.

Use your senses to ground your body in the present

Sensory awareness is the foundation of mindfulness. Paying attention to what is happening around you through your senses can help you slow down. The best part is it’s incredibly simple.

All you have to do is bring your attention to what you are touching, hearing, tasting, seeing, smelling, and feeling right now without judging.  

Read next:

37 tips to build your creative stamina

Other easy techniques you can do that encourage mindfulness include:

• Being kind (which has been proven to help complete your body’s stress cycle).

• Moving your body or exercise

• Sharing a long hug or kiss with someone you love

• Tensing and releasing your muscles

• Taking a deep breath

The common thread through each of these activities is that they must happen in real-time. Each one supports your quest to wholly occupy your body.

Pace yourself

Try taking some time to notice the earth’s rhythm through your senses. Your mind may judge it as too slow or unproductive. But there is so much power in engaging the senses; simple observation, listening, and opening up.

Give this simple form of care to yourself, to one another. Do it to restore your body and create a sense of spaciousness. It is a celebration of life. Sync up with the powerful energy of this precious earth.

Give yourself the gift of healing presence to help your heart soften and release.

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